The Art of Depersonalizing & Zen Mastery

Depersonalizing others’ odd behavior is the first step to Zen mastery

Step 2 looks like arresting your reactive defenses, getting curious about their behavior like a scientist, and mentalizing “what must be going on in their mind that’s leading them to behave this way?

Mentalizing evolutionary evolved in order for humans to understand minds of their competitors. Far richer information than you taking the bait and getting sucked into the dance with an attacker whose motives you haven’t fully thought through.

Best to use your uniquely human superpower to mentalize their motives — then decide a strategy the act on your reptilian impulses.

Jefferson Fisher

Your life will become easier when you embrace this mantra:

“This has nothing to do with me.”

When someone's being difficult, it's most likely a residual effect from something entirely unrelated to you.

They're serving you a dish you didn't order.

When that happens, remind yourself, “This has nothing to do with me”