Why are you being so defensive?

>> Chances are, you are being manipulated, and playing right into the trap <<

• Have you felt defensive recently?

• Who were you interacting with?

• How was your point of view being called into question?

Visualize the scene: In one moment, you went from making a point assertively, to scrambling to justify your point of view. What happened?

Manipulative colleagues employ an emotionally abusive strategy to maintain their dominance. Here's Their Playbook:

1. You make a point

2. Manipulator ignores point; instead asks "question" to poke holes in your idea like [HF PM] "well Senator's analyst says the opposite" or [PE Partner/principal] in "am I going to find that you haven't done the analysis well, AGAIN?"

3. In this moment, many are put on the defensive, and react, scrambling to address the Manipulator's accusation. By the time we get back to #1, our focus/confidence/esteem are shot Once you get "sucked into the argument / defending your position" -- you have lost

EXERCISE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER: This week, notice moments in which you "feel defensive" -- keep a diary, and let's talk through it to expose the manipulative counterparties in your life, and help you stay steady on your feet when their nonsense comes your way

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